I had a hard evening with my dad. He is mostly confused and i can't understand what he is saying usually. I try to guess and answer, or comfort him. He often seems to look right through me.
Many of us have told him that he can go. I hadn't yet and so my mom told me to tell him he could let go. I tried several times but couldn't. then later, he wanted to get out of the bed. he insisted. My mom told him he couldn't, he was too weak. He said "why???" (over and over) and my mom finally said "you're dying, joe" and my dad looked right at her, shocked... then started crying. She hugged him and either he put his arms around her or she did. Then she waved me over and we both hugged him. then she said "Cassie needs a hug" so I hugged him and told him that we would be okay. That we will take care of mom, that we know he loves us and we all love him. Jesus is waiting for him. He can let go. he can go. he started talking to me in very loving soothing tones, but I couldn't understand any of it. Then, I looked up at him after a minute and he said "It'll be okay". I said "I know it will". He put his lips together and waited for a kiss, I kissed him & then hugged him again & kissed his cheek and told him "It's okay." Well, at least it WILL be.. someday. if you know me, you know my next line probably wants to be "yeah.. in like 800 years!" and it feel like that long til I'll be okay.