My parents house has changed. there is a quiet warmth I feel there. We all wonder what will happen, but we aren't worried. We all try not to cry, but we easily do. I enjoy doing anything for him, yet feel relief when I leave the room so I can let it out. I feel blessed to be able to wash his face but the role-reversal is almost too much. He is so different - his appearance, his manner or speaking, relating, - it is all so gentle. But he is also the same - he doesn't have much strength and so he uses it to say something humorous most of the time. When his mouth doesn't work well for him, he often continues talking(intentionally) in absolute gibberish to get us to say 'What??'. He loves that one. My parents had a joke about this. I can't remember the line. Siblings.. what was it??? they said it to each other whenever they misheard each other.
This definitely takes the cake for the ODDEST time in my life. Kirk's parents wrote a wonderful email to me about what a blessing our family is and what a necessary time this is. They said saying goodbye is exactly the right thing because it means "God be with you". I know where my dad is going. They were so right. It was a great email.
I just can't decide what God wants, what my dad wants or even what we want.. a long goodbye or a shorter one?